HER FIRST TIME

She showed up and overcame her fear

 

She came in and sat down, visibly uncomfortable as the newcomer to our Women’s Circle. Not knowing what to expect, she was afraid.

She fidgeted with her hands and shifted in her seat. I felt the urge, as I did with every newcomer, to hug her, tell her of how brave and amazing she was for coming, divulge the power of sacred female kinship, and impart our group wisdom on her all at once. I wanted to take her hands, tell her to relax and surrender, and remind her of how loved she is.

But I resisted the urge to disrupt her process. I allowed her to have her feelings, welcomed her warmly, and opened the Circle as usual.

I laid our simple ground rules regarding privacy and group etiquette, and then opened with a simple prompt. She sat quiet and slightly wide-eyed as we went around the Circle before her turn came. I watched as she unconsciously erected her walls of personal protection by crossing her legs and arms in front of her.

Then she surprised me.

 

She bravely opened up by sharing her general discomfort with the idea of vulnerability. A false idea that our Circle was all about forced vulnerability had somehow taken seed in her mind, growing into a full blown fear that had kept her from coming for many months. She was taught early on by her mother that vulnerability was equivalent to weakness, and that strength was equivalent to survival. Strong women don’t need vulnerability – they fix things and move on. Feeling and expressing too much was weak and dangerous. She had wrestled with this deeply entrenched belief, and she had only recently recognized the hold it had on her personal life. She apologizing profusely for her tendency to nervously ramble, but we told her we were deeply grateful for her bravery. Sometimes the more precious truth is exposed through rambling, and hers was the beginning of a connection with the Circle and with her truth.

She wondered more openly at this point if there was a specific way she was expected to act or contribute. “No”, I said. “We are here to hold space for one another. Not to fix each other’s problems. We believe fully in one another’s capabilities.” I felt her whole figure relax. She uncrossed her arms.

She shared with us that she had often felt inept in her ability to completely relax with other females, believing she had been alone in this experience. This was precisely why I create Sisterhood Circles. Here, she could just … be. And that would be more than enough. This is a space to leave competition and judgement at the door, intentionally created to foster genuine connections.

By the end, she was deeply grateful she had moved through her fears and come to our Circle. She gained clarity, courage, and a space to expand and connect in a brave new way. 

 

Are you ready to try a Sisterhood Circle?

 

If you’re nervous about the experience, that’s normal. To connect on a deeper level with other women is soul food. For some women, it’s also absolutely terrifying for many the first time they come. The idea of opening ourselves up for connection only to be judged or rejected by the group is a deep fear that keeps many from coming. Our Sisterhood Circles are created as a very intentional, supportive space that does not allow for the competition and judgement we find “out there.” It’s the most refreshing and nourishing thing, according to our attendees. It’s actually a more natural environment for us, most of us never realized it was missing. 

We find our personal power in our human collective, and most women are starving for it. There is so much potential in examining ourselves on a deeper level, in a safe space with other women vulnerably desiring growth and connection.

Join us, you won’t regret it. Our Circles are open to ALL who identify as a woman (mother or not) 18 yo+. There are two options:

  1. The local in-person Portland Sisterhood that you can join by snagging your spot HERE.
  2. The virtual Sisterhood Circle that is coming soon. You can read about it HERE

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